Sweeping

Sweeping the past under the rug. Making it all disappear from view, this will help wont it? Wanting the pain to dissipate into something manageable. This old broom, doesn’t seem to have failed me yet – I’ve been able to walk away from the worst with this in hand. I walked away from torture, pain, and turmoil. The steady movements of sweeping the brewing pain in to a neat little pile, prepping it for the journey of being shoved under the rug. Out of sight, out of mind…

Sitting on the edge, heart screaming “I need more!” And waiting, waiting, and waiting until the day the pain will set along with the sun.

Daily, walking past the rug. Haunted by the things swept under it. Not even avoiding the room stops the haunting.

Dreams of despair trembles sweet slumber. Unable to escape the black hole of broken hearts swept under the once beautiful and admired rug.

The unfocused movie of life drones passed without the intended laugh here’s or cry here’s. Just an unfocused audience waiting for something to grasp his or her attention. Sadly, nothing thrown onto the screen can budge the grief filled hearts and minds.

Sun Set.

Sun Rise.

Day dreams for the broken hearted bless each with the joys of possibilities.

Sun Set.

Sun Rise.

The rug. It has to go. No more sweeping broken hearts under the rug. NO MORE!

JUST STOP HIDING ALREADY!

Throw the damned rug away. It will never be the glory it was before. It can be replaced.

Deal with the pieces. Spend time with the pieces.

Pack these broken hearts up, and…

Say Your Goodbyes!

Forgetting Failure

Forgetting to care on the day that matters most
Forgetting to think the moment it’s most detrimental to
Forgetting to act on the very thing I desire most
Forgetting to hate the one most deserved
Forgetting to love to my full capacity
Forgetting to live

It is easier to forget
For the pain diminishes slowly
For the dealing can cease
For living can begin once again
For the breath can fill my tired lungs

Memories do not fail
Although shooting stars have been wasted
Still every place is haunted
Your odor remains intact
Your voice fights to keep its grip

You capture the life form inside
Without having to be near
Powers beyond control pull the strings of life
Dancing me along to the beat of your desires
Giving me no hope of freedom
Leaving only the desire to forget

A Prose of Life

Each of the rooms, so different and so complex in their own ways.
The air is filled with over joyous scents of each season.
Walking in straight lines as if I were following a rail that was guiding me through this insanity.
Stopping at a dreary window covered with brown mold; trying to feel the cold, frigid, howling wind through the glass.
Drifting from place to place, without thinking of what I was seeing;
the shells were the only things I noticed because it seemed as if they were following me everywhere I went.
If only, I could have made the right choices, I would be wearing the golden wings instead of the stiff, ugly, foul robes I have now. My life changed the moment I asked for the second scoop, I wanted more of the tainted love he had to offer me.
Each step I take leads me farther away from my past and my mistakes, unless my feet get confused and I get lost in this God-forsaken maze.
Throughout my time here I have learned that I need to lift the guilt and hatred from my shoulders in order to get to the glimmering gates,
but this feat is a lot harder than I imagined.
I must discover the true meaning of forgiveness deep inside me;
not only forgiving him for what he has done to me,
but to forgive myself for letting him kill me like he did.
During my eventful resting time,
I am always visited by the same fox,
trying to help lead me to the end to receive the ultimate gift of death.
I have learned that this gift is not a physical thing
such as the grasses flowing in the soft breeze,
but something as simple as the saving of a soul.

♥ Life is full of many choices, and we never know what the right one will be until it is too late. But I have learned that those choices are what got me to where I am today. So I am very thankful for everything that I have chosen to put myself through or else I wouldn’t be the strong person I am today.
“Don’t laugh at a youth for his affections; he is only trying on one face after another to find his own.” – Logan P. Smith
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” – Cherie Carter-Scott

A Way To Deal

Your broad shoulders turn slowly
Away from my heartbroken tears
Your powerful legs carry you
Towards the end of something once
Great

Your face
Determined not to show emotion
Leads me to believe
I was not much more than a girl
Who was there when you needed
Someone the most

Eyes filled with apologetic looks
Leaving me desiring for
Yesterday
The day when it was

Filled with smiles and laughter
Your now gone
Just a memory, a sweet memory
Of how great life can be
Of important it is to keep going.
I’m ready for tomorrow
Because of yesterday’s experiences

♥ Yesterday gives you the skills to conquer today.
“Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“I have not yet met with a sorrow that could not be borne, nor with one who’s passing did not leave me stronger.” –
Kathryn L. Nelson

Dreams Awaken

His body lay so close,
listening to his heart beat,
feeling his skin,
being safe in an unsafe world.

Lips getting closer and closer,
adrenaline rushing,
burning with desire;
wanting.

The sweet feeling of his soft lips,
happiness,
I can do no wrong,
while in his arms.

Purity now forgotten,
hands sliding down my body,
my pants sliding past my hips,
while receiving the most luscious kiss on the lips.

My heart beast faster,
faster and faster,
darkness causing confusion
of where hands are fleeting.

Opening my eyes,
the raising sun glistening through the shades,
looking for my man,
I see I am alone.

I can’t believe that he left me,
for I thought,
that he loved me,
and would be by my side till time to depart.

Time to depart?
Wasn’t that several years away?
Or was it today?

Looking frantically,
in all corners of the room,
down the hall,
for where my man could be hiding.

Laying ever so still,
feeling the pain,
right in the heart.

How could he leave like this,
without saying goodbye,
or apologizing for his mistakes?

Tears flowing down my flushed cheeks,
trying to comprehend the misunderstanding.
All the while wishing he was with me again,
to feel the tingles in my tummy once again.

Coming to senses and realizing he wasn’t coming back,
I asked myself:
why like this?
Where’d he go?
Was it a dream?

Noticing,
I was still tucked in,
nicely under my sheets,
it must not have been real.

What a sweet dream,
it was.

The sun shining so bright,
reminding me it’s over.
No more pain and suffering.

♥ True Happiness is right around the corner.
“It is a grateful spirit, an optimistic attitude, and a heart full of love” – Unknown
“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved” – Franklin D. Roosevelt